Cool, unlying life will rush in
“When we get out of the glass bottle of our ego and when we escape like the squirrels in the cage of our personality and get into the forest again, we shall shiver with cold and fright. But things will happen to us so that we don’t know ourselves. Cool, unlying life will rush in.” - D. H. Lawrence
My third semester just drew to a comfortable close. I submitted my final history paper a little past noon on Friday, and at that moment I realized I haven’t felt free and un-busy for quite some time now. Right now I’m sitting by an airplane gate in the Charlottesville airport and awaiting my flight to Los Angeles.
Sitting in an airport a couple of minutes away from a plane flight makes things somewhat poignant; You’re leaving, you’re leaving once again. It makes me think back about the rush of time that has disappeared – one semester just flew past, I still remember taking a cab ride to university grounds and onto McCormick Road towards the ending days of the dusty summer, ready to pounce on the new Fall semester, grab it by the horns and deal it the best hand of cards I can possibly get. Now, in the middle of December, it has ended. It’s been my most academically intense semester in college so far, and it can only get more challenging.
I thoroughly enjoyed my classes. Moving on from completing most of my mandatory subject requirements in the first year to the more meaningful classes related to my scheme of learning, I can’t ask for more. This semester I engaged in my PPL major bootcamp course where every class was an intense 1-hour debate over contemporary ethics, political philosophy and public affairs issues; I studied how religion and politics meshed in with each other and how this produces various kinds of disputes over what is right, what is the sole truth, and how strong human nature can actually be; I studied the influence and psyche of imperialism, not just on the level of international relations but also on the daily level – how citizens and colonized people live and breathe its era and ethos; I studied social psychology, and had a really interesting insight into how the presence of other people influence individuals to think and act in different ways; I took my introductory course in Russian, culminating in a twenty-minute Russian performance and a comfortable ability to read and write; I took a military science course which grounded me in basic Army leadership, tactics and strategy. It’s been a good time.
What was most important about this semester, was conversations. Conversations with all kinds of people from all kinds of places, and conversations within oneself. Sometimes conclusions and great ideas are consolidated through conversations. Next semester I should take them to higher levels. I can’t rest on the thought that I still have so long to go in college – I’m now already halfway through college, and if the first half has sped by this fast, the other half will soon end, probably quicker than I would expect. At the end of the day, it’s knowing that I still don’t know much – and I still don’t really know a darn thing – about life that makes me feel that every day spent here and every day spent living is a sure step towards somewhere. I want to keep staying uncomfortable, keep staying unseated.
It’s time to board soon! Next stop: Los Angeles, CA.
